Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is not an easy disorder to deal with from the person that suffers from it or the people that are around them. This does not mean to lose heart because there are many different paths to healing available, however, the road is not paved.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder that can occur from experiencing any type of traumatic event. It is normal to feel out of sorts after something bad happens, but in order for symptoms to be considered part of PTSD they have to occur longer than three months after the event and interfere with the person’s life. The most common symptoms are flashbacks, hypervigilance, difficulty with emotional regulation, and difficulty trusting (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, n.d).
In my experience, humans are social creatures and we need social support in order to recover from trauma, but the nature of PTSD drives the sufferer away from society and paths to recovery that may help them. It is important to remember that, while natural disasters may cause PTSD, most PTSD sufferers are the way they are because of other humans and “the system”, in some way, has always let them down. Let’s take a look a common PTSD symptom and how they can impact interpersonal relationships.
- Flashbacks
A flashback is a common term for the various ways that someone with PTSD can relive the traumatic event. Hollywood likes to portray the trope of the war veteran hearing a loud noise and flashing back to being in a warzone so convincingly that the people around them can’t get them out of it. That is not how a typical flashback works.
Flashbacks can range from being fully immersed in the traumatic memory to just re-experiencing the emotions that were felt at the time of the traumatic event. Generally, a flashback is brought on by what is referred to as a “trigger”. The smell of a candle that was burning at the time of the trauma, a familiar sound, or fireworks can all act as a trigger. On a subconscious level our nervous systems associate things from the environment with the trauma, but not necessarily in a way that is helpful (Tull,2022). It could be helpful to fall to the ground from a loud bang in a warzone, but at fireworks show it’s pretty embarrassing. One of the first steps to minimizing flashbacks is to understand what your triggers are. However, first a person must realize they exist. Before one realizes that they are experiencing flashbacks and have PTSD triggers will cause more fights in an interpersonal relationship than the last presidential election.
- Hypervigilance
Hypervigilance is the condition of constantly being on high alert. When a person is repeatedly in situations where they are not safe and have to constantly watch their back, or watch their behavior when their abuser is ‘in a mood’ the nervous system seems to get stuck with the gas all the way down. It is the feeling that normal people experience when they just had something scary jump out at them, but it will stay for weeks and months until it feels like it had enough of you (“What is Hypervigilance”, n.d).
Someone who is hypervigilant may seem irritable and they may be accused of over reacting. In classic TV of someone with PTSD this is the scene where a person is staying up all night with a loaded shotgun, rigging video camera’s a booby traps, and likely abusing substances. Unfortunately, this vision is sometimes very accurate and many times pretty close. When someone with PTSD is experiencing hypervigilance, they do appear irritable, they will close themselves off from loved ones, and sometimes self-destructive decisions are made. The nervous system is over reacting to a trigger and the person does not feel safe. Unfortunately, as this also lend itself to insomnia and other less severe difficulties sleeping, it can be easy for us to get stuck in this state.
In this part I need to point back to my previous statement that often times the trauma that caused PTSD was from people. Hypervigilance is an extreme reaction to a very real sense of safety that was violated in someone. We cannot just tell our loved one “you’re being paranoid” because at the core of this there is a very real circumstance that most definitely happened.
3.Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is the ability to react appropriately to a situation. Someone who suffers from PTSD and is hypervigilant will likely respond with extreme emotions. I experience issues with emotional regulation in relation to CPTSD. In short, people who are suffering from anxiety disorders don’t do a very good job at regulation their emotions, and when they raise kids the children likely won’t be good at it either. We are taught how to be from the adults that interacted with us the most and if they weren’t there, or they gave us bad examples then we probably have issues with emotional regulation.
Another reason for issues with emotional regulation is being hypervigilant. It would appear to someone that the other person is reacting extreme when they get very upset about needing to get inside of their dwelling into a safe space at that very moment when the person, they were with thought it was just an end to a casual night out. Meanwhile, the person who has PTSD was triggered by being out late at night in similar weather to when they’re trauma happened. So when the person with PTSD freaks out about their date digging through their purse instead of going inside it appears that it is uncalled for. On a level it is uncalled for, but to at least one person in the part the reaction doesn’t seem out of the blue.
4. Difficulty Trusting
I am listing this symptom as a matter of personal experience and opinion. It is the one symptom of PTSD that has probably destroyed the most relationships. Relationships only work if they are built on a basis of trust. The same reason that a compulsive liar will never have a successful romantic relationship is the same reason that dating someone with PTSD of any type is so hard. As I said, trauma is mostly caused by other humans. Sufferers of PTSD still very much want family, and they want to be loved, but because of triggers they may or may not understand, trauma that has never been dealt with, and emotions that have never been accepted by another human being as real, it is extremely hard for someone with PTSD to trust another person with their vulnerability.
In conclusion
Those who suffer from PTSD, or another mental disorder caused by trauma, have their work cut out for them. We shove those close to us away when we need them most out of fear. Our trauma is a record stuck on repeat until we can heal enough to play something else. It is hard for us to understand what is occuring with us, and difficult to communicate it to others. The nature of PTSD makes it hard to communicate with others, but knowing our shortcomings is half of the battle. It is also important for those close to us to have an understanding of what we struggle with so we can help each other.
References:
Tull, M PhD. (May 04, 2022 ). Flashbacks and Dissociation in PTSD: How to Cope (verywellmind.com) Verrywell.com https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-with-flashbacks-2797574
NIMH » Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (nih.gov) https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd
Folk, Jim. (April 25, 2021 ). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – AnxietyCentre.com https://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-disorders/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/#:~:text=Post-Traumatic%20Stress%20Disorder%20%28PTSD%29%20is%20a%20category,within%20the%20over-arching%20classification%20of%20Anxiety%20Disorders.
What is Hypervigilance? Healthline.com Hypervigilance: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment (healthline.com) https://www.healthline.com/health/hypervigilance
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